


For the Sake of That One Moment

by micehell



Series: SEISyUN-ish world [3]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, TOKIO
Genre: AU (SEISyUN-ish world), Drama, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-31
Updated: 2011-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-11 12:22:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/micehell/pseuds/micehell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>But no matter how much he told himself that he wasn’t a coward, brave in the face of Voids and bullets, Taichi couldn't stop joking, even as the present he’d truly wanted slipped further and further away.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	For the Sake of That One Moment

**Author's Note:**

> About the series: I call this a SEISyUN-ish type world, in that it's kind of post-Robot Apocalyptic in character and it was heavily inspired by the PV (of course), but it's not the PV storyline. For one thing, the series sort of mirrors the time from when the guys would have first joined the agency in real life to a little past their debut (or it will when it's finished (whenever _that_ might be!) ;), so not the right timeline for the PV, plus I tend to like happier endings, oi. *snork*
> 
> About the story: Set about a touch over a year after [A Sky Full of Mistakes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/478492). Because it had occurred to me last time that not everyone might recognize all the elements I put into the stories (the real life people and events), I'm putting some story notes at the bottom for those that are interested, but you can certainly read the story without them. :)

Ten years ago, when Taichi had first come to the Crèche, the first Magic Show had been held. That it happened on the day he came (and that it was on his birthday as well), were coincidence, but to his newly eight-year-old self it had seemed to be some kind of fate; still afraid of everything, even the kids around him, and missing his mother badly (though he knew better than to say so), he really hadn't known what he felt sitting in that audience watching the strangest things he'd seen in his (admittedly short) life.

That year the acts had been: 1\. a sweaty, tattooed guy who'd walked over from Kashiwa, who'd been a grifter Before and showed them all the card tricks he knew (about five of them and all done poorly) 2\. an old grandmother who lived further down the lake (and had lived there all her life, refusing to leave even after the stretch of Nihonbashi that passed by had become a giant crater in the second wave of the invasion) who'd told too happy to be believed fortunes from their tea leaves 3\. and this strange little man named Johnny-san and his sister, playing puppet-master to a handful of what he called junior juniors and a couple of older recruits they'd coerced into coming with them, making them sing and dance (if not particularly well) to songs that were made before any of the kids were even born, played on a karaoke machine (also made before any of them were born). As tragically bad as the acts had been, it had still been magic for Taichi, the grief he'd taken with him to the Crèche lifting a little that night.

This year, though, the Magic Show was deliberately on Taichi's birthday, Takashi's and Hiroyuki's present to him. They'd been sitting next to him at that first show and had seen how much he'd enjoyed it (and thoroughly laughed at him about it, too), and they'd been with him at every one since. Taichi had to admit he liked this present better than the sock monkey Hiroyuki had made for him last year out of a jock strap and the last good pair of socks Taichi had (though he had to admit the monkey had looked strikingly like Takashi). The acts were now made up of locals from all around the lake (those that could be trusted to turn a blind eye when needed, at any rate), the staff and older kids at the Crèche, and (sometimes still unwilling) people from the Jimusho; a much larger number of acts, and far more diverse than that first time, but still often just as tragic.

From that first year the magic in the Magic Show had been loosely interpreted, some of the acts actually attempting magic tricks and some of them simply relying on the 'magic' of their performance (Johnny-san and Mary still bought the ancient karaoke machine every year). But this year Taichi planned to show the audience a magic that was truly amazing. He was pretty sure he'd win, too, not only for his (truly amazing) act, but because the act before him was Kirin (their butcher out of Kashiwa, who'd been coming every year since the second show) and his stupid two-headed goat, and the one after him was Kasunagi and Nagase with their lame manzai act... though how it counted as manzai when both of them were bokes Taichi couldn't even begin to understand, but at least it gave him that much more of an edge in getting what he wanted.

And what he wanted was to win, his plans for the birthday present he was going to give himself starting from that point. But even though he was pretty sure he would win, he was also pretty sure he wouldn’t, too many things having gone wrong in his life to believe in happy endings anymore. It wasn’t an unusual problem for him, half-optimist, half-pessimist, and far more familiar with failure than he'd like. It made him anxious and too excited, and he needed something to let it out before he got so keyed up he screwed up his act. But Hiroyuki was the host of the show this year (the director of the Crèche gave Hiroyuki the title of assistant director just so he wouldn't have to MC anymore) and Takashi was entertaining the younger kids with his usual antics, so Taichi decided to bother Leader (one of Johnny-san's reluctant puppets) instead. It was one of his favorite ways to pass the time anyway, and he congratulated himself when he managed to tease a flush of embarrassment across Leader's face, convinced (at least for the moment) that it was a sign that things were going to go his way.

After the show was over, however, and Kirin and his mutant goat finished taking their bows, Taichi was still being given a lecture by both the director and Johnny-san about not using explosives just for fun. Hiroyuki and Takashi were both (sitting on Nagase for reasons Taichi wasn’t sure he wanted to know and) laughing at him, but then that was pretty much usual for him. As was failing, much as he’d hoped that night would be different. And even though getting in trouble didn’t usually bother him all that much (and he’d certainly heard the lecture more times than he could count), he still thought he might cry, the whole thing feeling like a bad omen.

The guys must have noticed something even though he was keeping his head down, because they both shut up (though they didn't let Nagase go). In its way, that just made it worse. They were the ones that had taught Taichi that being laughed at and picked on didn't always mean the other person didn't like you; it was just the way some people expressed themselves. He'd had a hard time teaching Nagase that when he'd first got in with them, far too likely to bristle when someone said something to him, but the kid had come to enjoy the game. Even now Nagase was laughing so hard he was wheezing (though that might have been from having the air pushed out of him by the two sitting on him). If Taichi could be surer that _everyone_ understood that... well, it would certainly make the second part of his plan for the evening easier to deal with than the first part had turned out to be.

~*~

The lecture had finally ended and his two partners in crime had dragged Nagase off to feed him (and keep him out of Taichi's way), so there was nothing stopping Taichi from getting on with his plan. Leader even smiled at him as he came up, but then he always did, and Taichi still wasn’t sure, even after all these years, whether that worked in his favor or not. Any more than he was sure that Leader got that the jokes were just jokes, even though he always seemed to take them in good humor. There had been times in his life that Taichi had tried to say straight out what he felt, but it scared the hell out of him to be that exposed, to have no hole to fall back to just in case everything exploded in his face. The snark and the humor were the only way he could feel safe, even if sometimes it left him lonelier than he'd like.

But he was eighteen now, and he was old enough to try for what he wanted even if he didn't feel safe. At least that’s what he told himself as he looked over at Leader, someone who irritated and fascinated him almost equally at times, but who starred in more of his dreams than was good for how often Taichi had to wash his sheets. So he let go of the speech he'd been planning for weeks (especially since it started with him winning the Magic Show and was most likely (considering it had lines in it like _How about I show you my prize?_ ) too cheesy for words anyway), and said instead, "I lost."

Which wasn't anything he'd meant to say and was hardly likely to entice the other man to his bed. At the rate he was going, he should have just stuck with Takashi's suggestion of getting Leader drunk, especially since being drunk sounded really good at that moment.

Leader, in that sweet way of his (that often irritated Taichi even more than the cluelessness), smiled and said, "So did we, and to a two-headed goat... I'm pretty sure there was a fix in there somewhere."

That actually stopped Taichi for a moment, because it wasn’t like Hiroyuki was above taking a bribe (especially if there was meat involved), but then Leader's consoling hand on his arm reminded him that he could always smack his friend around later. After he'd gotten his present.

But everything Taichi said was a miss. He tried teasing. No dice. He tried outright flirting. Leader just looked at him oddly and asked if he felt okay. He even tried flattery, telling Leader how good his act had been (even though Leader had been out of sync with all the other (unwilling) dancers), but while it did get him a smile and a blush, there was no sign in the other man that he saw Taichi as anything other than a (apparently not very sexy) friend.

(Non-sexy) friendship, good as it had been, certainly wasn't what Taichi wanted. But no matter how much he told himself that he wasn’t a coward, brave in the face of Voids and bullets, Taichi couldn't stop joking, even as the present he’d truly wanted slipped further and further away.

~*~

Still laughing on the outside, but too close to tears to keep it up for long, Taichi went back to the barracks before everyone else. Kojima had cajoled one of the girls down at the village into making him a cake even though sugar was expensive (which was supposed to be a surprise, but Mabo tended to forget details like that when he got going), but as much as Taichi had been looking forward to it, he didn't think he could be around everyone right then without the tears winning.

He didn't even turn on the light in his room, just dropping on his bunk with a sigh, and then getting scared out of ten years of his life when the bunk yelled beneath him, squirming under his weight.

If he’d thought he’d been scared, it was nothing to how scared Leader looked when Taichi reached up and flipped on the light, his eyes wide and his face pale and his hair sticking up everywhere at once (though that was likely from being dropped on rather than from fear). It was the kind of look that Taichi would normally laugh at, but he held it in, held still, held his breath, not wanting to risk finding out none of it was real.

Leader started to say something then stopped, started and stopped, with his eyes looking everywhere but Taichi's, and Taichi could have almost screamed with the frustration of being so close and yet neither one of them being able to say what they wanted. He wondered if Leader's cluelessness all this time wasn't something like Taichi's humor, a foxhole to fall back in when things went wrong. He didn't get a chance to wonder about it for long, though, because Leader finally found his voice, even if it faltered when he said, "I thought... before, it seemed like you might be... well, maybe flirting with me. But then I thought that was probably just me reading things into it and... but then you looked a little sad, too. So after you left I asked Okamura if there was something wrong, and... um, he told me about the present."

Taichi could feel his face starting to blush, part embarrassment that his friend had had to do his talking for him (and sure that Takashi hadn't said it in a way that would show Taichi in a good light) and part dawning awareness that he was in bed with Leader, that Leader had chosen to be there even knowing what Taichi wanted, and that there was no one else around. He was trying to figure out a suave way of leaning over to kiss Leader's stutter away when he got sidetracked by wondering, "How did you get here before me?"

Leader's face wasn't pale anymore, turning the same bright red Taichi was sure his own face was shining, but Leader’s smile was happily (beautifully) evil when he admitted, "I stole Nagase's ATV."

Nagase had built the ATV up from basically scrap metal, talking to it while he worked on it and calling it by name (Atsuka, though he wouldn't tell them why), so there'd be hell to pay later, but it made Taichi laugh imagining what Nagase's face would look like when he found his baby gone. He was still laughing when he finally bridged that last bit of distance, Leader's lips smiling and soft as Taichi kissed them.

~*~

Taichi had read all the books that Sato kept stashed away in the bottom drawer of his office desk, so he knew the mechanics of sex. He had also (accidentally at first, but later not so much) spied on Leader a couple of times when he'd been with Sakamoto or Nakai (and Taichi had been hard pressed over whether he felt more turned on by seeing Leader on his knees for the other men or jealous). But for all that, he still had no idea how to actually _have_ sex. Did you have to actually say _Let's have sex_? Or was there some secret signal he hadn’t noticed before? He felt like an awkward virgin (largely because he was) and he was blushing so hard he was sweating from it. He was also so hard he could die and almost wished he would just so he wouldn't be embarrassed anymore.

But Leader wasn’t laughing at him, taking his hand and showing him where to touch, what to do, how to move, teaching him in this like he had so many other things. And part of Taichi was still embarrassed to be so gauche, but the rest of him was enjoying the lesson, the feel of Leader's soft skin under his hand, of Leader's tight ass around his dick. He thought he could die from that, too, it felt so good, and he wanted to come so badly, but he held on, held onto Leader until he felt the other man shudder beneath him. Not needing to hold back anymore, he was still almost afraid to let go, half-sure this was a dream and he'd wake up to an empty bed and sheets that need washing again. But Leader wrapped his legs tightly around Taichi's waist, pulling him in a precious bit more, and there was nothing that could hold Taichi back then, orgasm hitting him like the best explosion ever. Taichi almost believed he really had died for a moment, his world made up of light and sparkles and pleasure before it finally faded away, leaving him lying on top of Leader, both of them breathing hard and sweating, and both of them still smiling.

~*~

"Why me?"

It was a casual question on the surface, but lying almost on top of each other in the too small bunk, Taichi could almost feel Leader's uncertainty. Taichi wished he could tell him how much he appreciated what Leader had taught him over the years and how he’d protected all of them in his own (sometimes weird) ways. He wished he could say how good it made him feel to have someone fuss over him (even if it embarrassed him to have the others see), to care in ways no one had had time for in the Crèche (and that no one else had ever done for him since his mother died). He wished he could tell him about a lot of other things, too, some of them things he didn't even know why he liked, but he couldn't. Maybe one day he'd be able to, but right then all he could do was shrug and say, "For fun. And your standards have got to be pretty low, so you won't give me a hard time if I'm not up to snuff right away."

And maybe Leader got what he really meant, or at least didn't need him to say the words yet, because he relaxed back into the bed (back into Taichi), shaking his head as he laughed, and stroking his fingers down Taichi's back as Taichi burrowed his face into Leader's neck, breathing deep and enjoying the moment.

Which was immediately ruined by Nagase slamming into the room, shouting, "Okay, which one of you stole my--" and then almost choking when he saw what they were doing.

Taichi bitched at him, "Don't you ever knock?" but Nagase was ignoring him, hands over his eyes and repeating, "I'm blind, I'm blind" over and over again.

Leader, proving once again that there were many reasons why Taichi liked him, rolled his eyes and said, "I liked him better when he never used to talk."

~*~

Nagase hadn't just come to get his baby back, his pack holding three slices of cake on a plate that Mabo (sweeter than Kojima, who'd said they should just eat it themselves) had made for them. Leader wanted a shower before eating his, but Nagase and Taichi were too mannerless to wait before they started on theirs.

Casually, like he wasn't sounding him out, Nagase asked, "It's against the rules to have a relationship with someone in your group... aren't you afraid of Mary having a talk with you?"

Taichi knew Nagase was just asking if it was worth the risk. The kid had been panting after Gussan pretty much from the first day, latching onto him like he was the final word in everything, only Gussan was too thick to catch on. Or maybe too sly to let on, not wanting to say no, or not wanting to be tempted to say yes. Gussan was about the only one of them who could keep a secret from the others for any length of time, so Taichi couldn't really say, either way.

"It's just for fun," was what he answered for the second time that night, and Nagase nodded, making it obvious he was just pretending to believe him. He was a brat, and sometimes Taichi really did miss the quiet days when the kid was so desperate he'd run errands for them all day without complaining once.

Nagase nudged him with his shoulder, holding out his pinky and saying, "I won't tell anyone. Not even Gussan."

Taichi linked pinkies with him, happy to get a little time before the others found out. Nagase's pinky around his made Taichi feel like he was eight again and back in the Crèche, but he didn't really mind, and he didn't really want Nagase any other way but the pain he was.

They sat on the barrack porch waiting for Leader to finish his shower, looking out on the compound that was never really quiet, even late at night, always some group or other standing guard, or coming in or going out, or sometimes just letting off steam from their last mission so they could sleep again. Taichi could still smell Leader on his body, a lingering trace of sex, and his lips still tingled a little, like magic.

/story

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Hiroyuki and Takashi are Yabe Hiroyuki and Okamura Takashi, also known as NaiNai (99). They're both good friends with Taichi in RL, and he's worked with them for the last 12 years (when they weren't off the show, at least) on Gurunai, which is the show I'd been missing when I started this. I think Okamura, besides being a good friend, has also been a good mentor for Taichi, so I could see them as older kids who helped him when he came to the Crèche, but who stayed on there rather than joining the Jimusho with Taichi (though Okamura always jokes about having wanted to be a Johnny, so maybe he tried to join the Jimusho in this AU and just couldn't. ;)  
> 2\. Kusanagi (Tsuyoshi) and Nagase's manzai act really did happen, apparently, back when they were both still in the dorms. I'm with Taichi, though, in that I have no idea how they did it when they're both such airheads. *snork*  
> 3\. When I say Mary in the stories, I mean Johnny-san's sister Mary. From the bits and pieces I've heard from the various guys over the years, she's actually scarier than her brother when you've done something wrong, which is why she has that role here. ;)


End file.
